True Friends Will Help You Move A Body


Sometimes I imagine my life is like a movie script. Sometimes it feels like it is really playing out like one. If you are intrigued by today’s post title, Don’t worry, we didn’t kill anyone. This story is more about friendship. Long summer days lend themselves to contemplative conversations and I spent one day this summer with a few people discussing our perspectives on friendship. We started talking about how we viewed friendship, types of friends we’ve had in our lives and the depths of it.

Friendship as a concept is a funny thing. “Friendship” is a term that really has such varied levels of meaning to different people. There are so many different types of friends we have if you stop and think about it. Associates. Online friends. Work friends. Childhood or college friends that you will always have history with. Friends of proximity (neighbors). Best friends. Celebratory friends that will always be excited to hear about your success at work or life. Occasional friends you only catch up with at social gatherings. Friends with benefits. Nurturing friends who empathize when life is tough. Then, there are friends who don’t place a classification, conditions, or limitations on a relationship. These friends provide emotional support and stability during good and bad times without expectation. These are the true friends or as I like to call them “Move-A-Body” Friends.

I was first introduced to the concept of having a Move-A- Body friend through a 2010 blog post written by Brene Brown. Move-A-Body friends aren’t always the people you think they are. They may not be people you talk to everyday. They may not even be your best friends. However, they ARE the ones that you call at 2 am and know they will pick up no matter what because they saw your name come across their screen. They aren’t ever judgmental or disapproving. They don’t ask questions and they come to you right away. They’ll give you a hug and simply say “Let’s do this”. The next day nothing is different than the day before.

I’d call you because you would come right away. Give me a hug. Never look judgmental or disapproving or disgusted. And then you’d say, ‘Let’s do this.’

The next day when you see me at the park or the soccer game, you’d be kind and respectful.

And most of all, it would never cross my mind to say something to you like, ‘please don’t tell anyone.’ You don’t do that.

Putting trust in others and admitting that we need a friend can be tough. Being a friend that offers  unconditional friendship comes naturally for me. Reaching out and receiving that same type of friendship is more challenging.  The truth is we are innately created for connection with each other. That connection requires a certain amount of trust. This type of friendship also requires grace and compassion. Life has it’s funny ways and will often throw in your lap exactly what you need, like a hot potato. Life isn’t a gentleman either (to be honest,  life is kind of an ass sometimes). It doesn’t bother asking if you are ready or whether the situation is what you prefer.

I’ve been thrown a couple of hot potato situations where I’ve had to rely on move-a-body friends. These friends and situations have given me a different perspective in seeing the world.  These friends don’t require an apology or keep tabs. There is no debt of friendship that is owed, just an understanding that if we ever need each other we’d be there. I’d encourage you to examine who you could call in the odd case you ever find yourself having to move a proverbial, or even literal, body. Just be prepared to have that type of friend on speed-dial when life shows up with something unexpected. We were never meant to carry it alone.